Weekend Madness

Day 1, tried to put demon bansheebaby to sleep four times since half 5 this morning, as he keeps saying he is tired. Part of the rabble are now undertaking some Takeshi castle saga by using the travel cot (meant for naps) for some obstacle in their latest “the floor is lava / spiderman versus unicorn” game. Alfie is probably downloading YouTube again from cracking how to unlock the Internet security I put on again last night, or using his ingenious maths skills to decode NASAs latest plans.

Unstrangely in this house the pup is the only calm one, often looking at me like “Why did you bring me here….the pound is calmer?!?!” He looks so chunky lately, I have to get Charlotte to stop sharing every meal and snack with him. One day I will turn around and he would be sat at the dinner table with a bib on next to her and I wouldn’t notice.
Attempt number 3753 to get Stan to sleep and its only half 8. Looking at my garden whilst rocking and bouncing and shuggying….shushing… all sorts of noises and rocking comes out when you are oh so desperate for a goddam cuppa.
I am looking at the flowers in the back baskets which I meant to pull up probably four weeks ago now. They are all shriveled and dried up. Much like my soul and the skin on my face now through lack of sleep.

Demon banshee baby decides he would rather pull out the whisps of hair out I have left than go to sleep so I try and tackle dressing my feral lot.
Alfie is easiest to dress as he just lays on his bunk while I dress him happily tapping away on a calculator probably prophesying the lotto numbers.
Then Charlotte as I can bribe her with a pretty dress.

Mid dressing her, Henry tells me there is poo on bathroom floor. At this point I am weighing up whether cat/dog/child poop is best (trying to remember what they had for tea last night…oh fish and garlic sauce…hmm maybe animal poop is better)
Henry has it all up his leg and swears its not his.
I find a trail of nesquick poop leading into their room, but it ends and everyone’s nappies are clean that wears them. “Where has all the poo come from Henry?” Henry “I dunno, maybe a squirrel?”

Part of me thinks should I let pup up to track but he would definitely eat it all…hmm Too cruel?!
Henry thrown in the shower. Cleaning up said nesquick poop, god I hated that bunny anyway.. Turn around and Stanley is now half leaning in the tub …soaked. And Charlotte’s in the tub…with Henry. Her pretty dress which made her look like an angel moments ago now looks like someone has tipped a full bucket if water over her.
Dresses freddy whilst in despair. Freddy reciting his numbers up to 100…good lad Fred keep me grounded I think “count to 10 ain’t gonna cut it today.
Oh man its only 09.08am

Henry “mam come and look at my clean sparkly bum hole…..”

Lord have mercy

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