A Normal Day In My Life

We are re arranging the entire bedroom because the b#stard cat has ran through the house and dropped a live mouse (tiny) in MY BLOODY BEDROOM!!! It’s ran behind my bed, then under the other bed (Stanley’s bed) amd then the wardrobes. We have been shifting and lifting furniture and diving about the floor to catch it and still no luck.

Everytime we nearly get it, it runs somewhere under the furniture we have just previously moved. I dragged the cat back in the lazy tw#t, to try and get him to catch it, (after trying the humane way) and he just laid down on the floor like puss in boots the fat lazy sod, “Ahh I get it later” !

Stanley amazingly slept through the entire drama, lights all on like Blackpool illuminations, he has been moved on the mattress and rolled about like a sausage roll so many times and didn’t murmur!

Nope, he never woke up at all. I have given up and put a mouse trap under the bed-latts as there is no flat bottom on our bed so it will work. I feel guilty as sin, but without emptying every piece of furniture in my bedroom there is little I can do for Jerry. His fate is sealed by death of lazy fat tw#t cat or mouse trap. Or he may crawl into my mouth in the middle of the night, sh#t in it and then I swallow him. Either way, death is grim and imminent. From “I’m a mam get me out of here” I am sleeping in a bedroom with a mouse.

Many hours later….still trying to look for a mouse. Quietly. In our house. I know what a joke.
Andrew lifting the 50 tonne mattress of ours, probably break his back and get squashed by it…sorry hubby there is no way I can save you under that mattress. You would be sleeping with Jerry unfortunately.

Anyhow…Me trying to quietly peer under our bed. Henry bounds in the room I pretend to squeal to frighten him. He leaps off our bed in fits of laughter, dives onto the drawers trapping all fingers in drawer like Tom and Jerry. I leap off trying to save him, Andrew drops mattress to help, lattes of bed ping off everywhere like some sort of magical mouse traps have gone off all over… Henry then decides he is ok and dives back onto bed grabbing hold of the last remaining curtain pole I have, pulls it down, it bounces off his head rendering him semi conscious but he still laughing his head off. I tried to save him again and land flat face into my carpet…which I realise Alfie has peed all over at some point as my nose in pressed into the pile and all I can smell is dry wee.

Still no mouse caught.

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